Cry me a freaken river.

Today I failed my first test.

No exaggeration whatsoever.

I failed it.

I don’t think I’ve failed anything in my life before.

… except my drivers license.

*sobs myself to sleep every night*

.. but that’s different. I’m allowed to be a bit errr, “disabled” in that sense.
I’m a girl.

(Ignore the amount of sexism in that comment, okay, I know.)

But failing an actual test? That I studied so hard for? That I studied so hard for at 3 in the morning, no less!

No.
It should not be okay.

And I know, I know, I’m probably coming off as either:
a) a worthless university student who is currently still hoping for a 30%. (As if that’ll improve the situation in any way) Or
b) a nerd, whose just got the feel of what the deep end’s really like.

Either way, I don’t feel less depressed. I feel like I just need to hibernate, in my room, under like 7 huge blankets with nothing but my laptop and maybe.. a box of doughnuts.

And I swear, I will not watch any medical, drama series. It will only dampen my spirits even further! So no Grey’s Anatomy and no House.
Nope. (Yes, I just mentally popped the “p”, do not even judge)
Nothing but pure comedic series like.. 2 Broke Girls, maybe?

Yeah.. I can live with that.
Some innuendos and mocking short men will definitely brighten the mood. (If you’re short..uhmm.. sorry?)

And if my doughnuts are not warm, soft and cinnamon-y, they can forget about being welcome at my pity party as well.
It’s my pity party and I’ll throw bad doughnuts out if I want to. Okay?

But I guess it was bound to happen sometime. I’m here to learn after all. And learning has never proven to be easy. Well, not for everyone at least.
The sad thing is though, that if my results really are as terrible as I’m expecting them to be…

….. I DON’T WANT TOO MANY OTHER PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY DO WELL.

There.

I said it.

And it probably makes me a horrible person for hoping (silently praying) that I’m not the only one who felt the utter brutality of that test. Because well,  if I’m going down, the rest of the world will go down with me! Mwahahahaha

– nah I’m kidding.

All I’m saying is, I really don’t want to go through this alone. If it means that 300 of my fellow peers have to experience it with me to make me feel better? Then so be it.

I’m not being fair, I know.
But neither was that test.
Neither is life.

So cry me a freaken river, and let me be mean for a change.

*no doughnuts were harmed in the production of this blog-post*

Thank you 🙂