Not another clichè friendship.

​Among the many beauties of life, there is one that makes me giddy when I think of it and lonely when it slips my mind. 

Friendship.

The concept of friendship has carried a great deal of clichè associations for centuries. The idea that people can engage on such a level that they share jokes only they can understand, or that they prefer to confide in only one another even though they may be surrounded by so many individuals, is just mind boggling.

Today, I want to share a special friendship of mine with you. This friendship goes beyond the clichè boundaries, it transgresses nearly all the social barriers put forth by us, as modern members of society. This friendship, is perfect.

Or so I think, anyway.

It started a long ime ago and to be fair it wasn’t all at once, so I cannot place a date on it. Nonetheless, it is timeless. It, being the friendship, of course.
It consists of 5 gorgeous, smart and talented women… and then myself.

 These gorgeous women, they mean the world to me. And in all honesty, I know that it’s a mutual feeling. A mutual bond of love expressed through so many ways that sometimes, the idea gets lost.

Just this past weekend we all gathered to celebrate our 6th year of friendship (it’s been longer, I’m sure) and if you’d like me to tell you how we played fun games together, built a fort and laughed till we couldn’t breathe, I could. But I could also tell you about how we bossed each other around on the phone, just so that a simple meal could be ordered. I could also tell you how we banged on the bathroom door and threatened to leave, because one of us was taking too long to get ready. I could tell you about how we bickered about the simplest thing which resulted in one of us sleeping outside of the fort.

Yes.

Remember when I said we express our love in so many ways that the idea usually gets lost?

Time has ripped the innocence from our friendship, the polite demeanour that made us smile when we just met, knowing that this wasn’t an ordinary type of friendship.

However, don’t let me give you the wrong impression. We are not JUST our fights. In fact, we are not JUST our joyous moments either. We are a hurricane of emotions, a storm of memories and a force to be reckoned with.

Of course, we fight. If you’re part of a friendship and you don’t, you haven’t reached this level of comfort yet.

I say comfort, yet it’s a bond that has torn me from my comfort zone and placed me in the middle of a group of people, vulnerable. They know all my secrets, my dreams, my hopes.. my fears. And if this didn’t make you gulp audibly in discomfort, the power of this situation has not yet had its impact on you.

Regardless, I said this friendship was perfect, didn’t I? And I’m not trying to sound clichè by using the age-old line, “It’s perfect in its imperfections,” but it really is something along those lines.

If this weekend had gone by and had ended up just being us, being super friendly and well mannered to one another, it would not have been as impacting, unforgettable and stupendous as it was.

I love them. I don’t say it.

Well, not enough anyway.

But they know.

And that’s the beauty.

What is up.

You know how sometimes you read certain things and it just inspires you to write? Like you have no idea what you want to write about but you also want to sound poetic, and radiant and just bloody lyrical as specific words do make people sound.

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Annoyingly enough, this happens to me all the time. I’ve just got so much going on in my head and I often feel inspired to write about it all, but dang it! Where to begin? What to focus on? As you can tell with this little aimless rant, I am in this mood again. And it honestly sucks, because I think writing would be a sort of outlet for me if I didn’t struggle this much to set my mind to my ink –or typing, but whatever.

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I started this blog sometime last year specifically about med school and you know, it was going great until I realized that med school is NOT my life. Shocker!

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I also care deeply about other things and sometimes I need to write about that as well. Your career or proposed career path does not define you. I am not just a medical student – despite what my Health Practitioner’s Council of South Africa certificate says. I am also an adolescent (with numerous adolescent crises!), a daughter, an older sister, a friend to some amazing people and heck, someone who just wants to rant about the struggles of trying to get my driver’s license.

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So despite the fact that this blog was initially just for what med school is like, I am now in the process of changing it. This is now about what my life is like, and about all the experiences I want to share with you. I know I’ve been MIA for like a solid year, but trust me, I’ve been battling with myself on what to actually post here. So bear with me. I might disappear again and maybe make a grand appearance every few weeks or months, but right now I can honestly say that I’m trying.

It’s also now 11pm at night and I have class at 8am tomorrow then hospital at 12pm (which I didn’t prepare for…yet!) so I really need to get to bed.

 

Thank you for being patient with me if you’ve actually bothered to check my blog in these passing months. I honestly do appreciate it.

To those from Germany and the United States, I see you reading my posts.

🙂 Thanks!

So guess who’s decided to drop in.

Well, well, well.

We meet again.

we meet agai

While I feel like I’ve lost my interest in blogging, I dare to still write this post. Brave, eh? It might just be a really long bout of writer’s block that I’m experiencing or it might be that I fail to find the excitement in sharing what med school is all about anymore, since it’s all become more of a norm to me now. Whatever it is, it needs to stop.

So here’s to an official re-attempt at keeping this blog alive! 

yay

In retrospect to the motivation to keep this blog going, it’s just a few more days to the start of exams and I’ve yet to actually complete a single chapter of studying.

Now don’t get it all wrong. It’s not that I’m up to my ever-so-usual procrastinating ways again, but rather, I CAN’T seem to finish a chapter of work. I’ve started multiple chapters, full of energy and drive to get it done and dusted. But alas, when I reach the middle of the chapter, I get bored and start a new one.

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Where oh where is the sense in my ways?

All the while, I’ve also had to prepare for our practical exams, the first of which took place today. CAN I JUST RANT ABOUT HOW FREAKED OUT I WAS?

Okay, so get this. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been first on the class list. Which means, first for orals, first for phys ed, first for everything. And today was no different.

First for our isiXhosa consultation prac exam.  (Please bear in mind that while I am very very proudly South African, I cannot Xhosa.)

So added to my already mangled nerves of forgetting what to say, or asking the wrong questions, was the added stress of going first. You’d think I’d be over it by now.

But no.

No no no no no.

NO.

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I mean come on, how backwards is my life? In a class of 30 I can understand that my surname would make the top of the list, but really? At uni too?  In a class of 300, might I add?

Aaaah life.

I spoke to a 3rd year med student a while back and she was very reassuring, telling me to take it easy, and I was like “Yeah, you’re right. It’ll get easier anyway, I guess.”

That’s when she stopped reassuring me. “Actually, it keeps getting worse… but we’ll survive.”

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I’m afraid to describe the very little confidence she had in her voice as it still scares the living daylights out of me.

I think that’s my biggest fear at the moment. Not surviving this. Failure. Disappointment.

And heck, it’s a whole 6 years I’ve got to screw up. Better pray that something greater will get me through this.

Something greater has gotten me this far, hasn’t it?

*inserts message about how important faith is.*

(No, really. It is.)

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(I want to cut people… but like legally, of course)

In light of my current procrastinating dilemma, I thought I might as well drop in and ramble a bit about absolute nonsense.

Sooo… yeah. It’s been some time, hey. And while I’m sure the rest of the world has been up to more productive things, I can assure you, I HAVE NOT.

It was winter break, or June holidays, as it’s colloquially known here in South Africa and I slept for all of 3 weeks. Yes, I am proud. C’mon. Sleep is a necessity. And indulging in a need when you have nothing better to do can’t be that wrong, right?

*death stares you until you agree*

And in my defence, I worked the next 3 weeks. So I wasn’t a complete lazy slob, okay. I was just saving energy for when I’d need it.

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So as I was saying, I worked. As in, I finally attempted to engage in the world of AdultI drew up invoices, did filing, answered the phone (quite professionally, might I add) and even did some admin.

*shudders inwardly*

YES, SHUDDERS.

I’m not going to bash the entire world of business based on my very terrible, very tedious, very very BAD experience of working in an office, BUT how do you do it?

I take my hat off to each and every single one of you. You deserve an award. While so much light is drawn to and attention is given to the medical world – my family still gets excited to tell people what I’m studying, *sigh* – I just want to say to the business people out there, YOU GUYS ARE THE REAL MVP’s.

Thank you for existing, because I cannot even secretary – let alone business, for that matter.

I can however, pronounce really big words that either mean you’re dying or you’re not… so there’s that.

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On the bright side, it’s a new week (there is absolutely nothing bright about this) and another opportunity for me start afresh and actually study as the work is given to me. (lol, as if.)

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Yay life.

 

PS. It’s a bit early for this decision to even be under consideration, but if I should specialize one day, Surgery or Forensic Pathology? (I want to cut people… but like legally, of course)

Haha, this post was pointless. Goodbye.

Opinions matter.

Warning: The following blog-post contains no humour, attempt at humour or even a picture. Bear with me.

Every person on Earth has an opinion. It’s what makes us, what defines our personality, our beliefs, our values… it defines who we are.

And while there are many things in this world that beckon our opinions, the scary thing is that none of ours may be the same. While one person may think that peanut butter is the shizzle-dizzle, another may hate its rubbery texture. While some people are just good at sport, keeping fit and enjoy healthy foods, other people may prefer watching movies, just chilling out and asking the waiter for an extra side of fries. It’s all opinions. And a difference in opinion can go different ways. For example:

An argument
Both persons argue about why their opinion is better and do not care to see another perspective.
A discussion
Both persons explain their opinion and try to understand one another even if they may not agree.

The reason why I’m discussing opinions is, because in med school, opinions are EXTREMELY important. If you cannot determine how you feel about something, and effectively communicate that without inflicting your view on the other person, you’re in trouble. And to be honest, I’ve not only been challenged to think more about certain things since I’ve been at med school, but my own values and opinions have been drastically challenged and changed by the rather more informed opinions of those around me. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’ve been easily influenced, because of what others think. But rather, I value my own opinions more, because I know I think it through 50 times more carefully than I would have in the past.

I was just a bit baffled to realize that some people choose to not have an opinion, to remain neutral and uninformed. I’m going to make an example of a situation that demands an opinion, ESPECIALLY AS A MED STUDENT, which is the ongoing conflict between Israel and Palestine. I mean, this isn’t just about whether you prefer butter on your bread or not, or whether you actually like going on the see-saw, this is about human lives. Life matters. And while I won’t state my opinion on the matter here (to avoid any impending conflict); the great thing is that I do have an opinion. I have one, and it’s what I value. Whether it’s based on what I saw on the news, read online or even heard from a neighbour, what matters is, that I’m somewhat informed and I have an opinion.

How will we move forward as the human race if we choose to live in ignorance?

What is your opinion?

[This is just food for thought… if you feel like thinking? ]

Cry me a freaken river.

Today I failed my first test.

No exaggeration whatsoever.

I failed it.

I don’t think I’ve failed anything in my life before.

… except my drivers license.

*sobs myself to sleep every night*

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.. but that’s different. I’m allowed to be a bit errr, “disabled” in that sense.
I’m a girl.

(Ignore the amount of sexism in that comment, okay, I know.)

But failing an actual test? That I studied so hard for? That I studied so hard for at 3 in the morning, no less!

No.
It should not be okay.

And I know, I know, I’m probably coming off as either:
a) a worthless university student who is currently still hoping for a 30%. (As if that’ll improve the situation in any way) Or
b) a nerd, whose just got the feel of what the deep end’s really like.

Either way, I don’t feel less depressed. I feel like I just need to hibernate, in my room, under like 7 huge blankets with nothing but my laptop and maybe.. a box of doughnuts.

And I swear, I will not watch any medical, drama series. It will only dampen my spirits even further! So no Grey’s Anatomy and no House.
Nope. (Yes, I just mentally popped the “p”, do not even judge)
Nothing but pure comedic series like.. 2 Broke Girls, maybe?

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Yeah.. I can live with that.
Some innuendos and mocking short men will definitely brighten the mood. (If you’re short..uhmm.. sorry?)

And if my doughnuts are not warm, soft and cinnamon-y, they can forget about being welcome at my pity party as well.
It’s my pity party and I’ll throw bad doughnuts out if I want to. Okay?

But I guess it was bound to happen sometime. I’m here to learn after all. And learning has never proven to be easy. Well, not for everyone at least.
The sad thing is though, that if my results really are as terrible as I’m expecting them to be…

….. I DON’T WANT TOO MANY OTHER PEOPLE TO ACTUALLY DO WELL.

There.

I said it.

And it probably makes me a horrible person for hoping (silently praying) that I’m not the only one who felt the utter brutality of that test. Because well,  if I’m going down, the rest of the world will go down with me! Mwahahahaha

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– nah I’m kidding.

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All I’m saying is, I really don’t want to go through this alone. If it means that 300 of my fellow peers have to experience it with me to make me feel better? Then so be it.

I’m not being fair, I know.
But neither was that test.
Neither is life.

So cry me a freaken river, and let me be mean for a change.

*no doughnuts were harmed in the production of this blog-post*

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Thank you 🙂

A sense of scientific humor.

The jokers of med school are what really keep me going sometimes. You don’t expect to find them there, but there are tons of them. All with a brilliant, thought out, sense of humor.

And I mean, I don’t laugh easily. If you start with a knock-knock joke, and expect me to be entertained, you got another thing coming bro.
Uh’uh.
Go work on that joke, and come back to me when it’s funny. *waves pointing finger around sassily in your face*

I mean, I don’t particularly have a great sense of humor, but I KNOW IT. I will not try and make awkward jokes around people and hope to get a laugh or even a shadow of a smile. Oh no, girlfriend. I leave that up to the people who are actually good at it.

So like I was saying, med school is filled with all these brilliant jokers who make my days a lot more bearable. And while the average person might not find their jokes funny, any person who has had a taste of Biology or Chemistry in high school will find them hilarious!
And what’s even more fantastic is that they drop these jokes so obliviously. We’d be in conversation and someone would suddenly insult another person, and they’d be like, “Damn! You need some aloe vera for that buuuurrn.” or when referring to a good looking male, “Wow, mitosis did him so well!”

They seem like such lame jokes, now that I’m actually putting it out there…

.. But I think they’re genius.
Science jokes will never go out of style.

*cue Taylor Swift’s “Style” playing in the background*

Again I say, you probably wouldn’t agree if you do not enjoy the art of science. See what I did there? Art? Science?

No? Haha, okay.
*stops trying to be funny* *world praises the Lord above*

I have a few personal favorites of course, like..

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And…

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Not forgetting…

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Maybe these jokes are actually lame and I just find them amusing, because I’m depressed (I’m kidding, don’t judge me). But I’m sure that there are more of you depressed souls out there who appreciates science like I do.

So yeah, that’s what floats my boat.

And in the spirit of the urogenital practical I did the other day, I was going to make a vaginal joke now… but I’m afraid you’ll ovaryact.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Ha.

Okay I’m leaving with my terrible sense of humor and all.

Peace out.

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